My experience of PMS as an #ActuallyAutistic person is of an enhanced sensory and emotional experience. This can include overwhelm and emotional distress, but also a hyper-realness that draws my attention to the beauty in little things. Like a pre-menstrual monotropism.

This post represents my thought patterns right now - jumping between ideas like points of light in the fog. As such, it’s not as polished as my other writing. I’ve decided to not over-edit, embracing my thinking how it is right now.

Beauty in the little things:

  • new life! - daffodils are coming up!

  • scent of pine wafting across the air, but I couldn’t see from where

  • a beautiful moment of walking into my local bakery - finding the person who works their with a customer’s toddler on her hip, wielding a half-eaten jam doughnut

  • hugs with my partner, holding me up while I feel this intensity

  • a calling to connect with nature

  • how good it feels to bite down on good food

What else I noticed:

  • spoken speech is difficult today, especially expressing all these ideas in my head

  • the grating intrusion of vehicles on the road

  • I’m crying at everything, even (especially) the nice things

  • I’m second-guessing interactions with a co-worker, worrying I’m not doing the socialling properly

I want to set aside this day every month to spend a day in nature, allowing myself to just ‘be’: connecting, withdrawing, feeling, resting, restoring.